sh(ow)case.

wow. the showcase is rapidly approaching, and we are nowhere near ready. i had coffee with the head of last year's promo group, and she had my head spinning. ow. it's okay. i WILL do everything i need to do research-wise this weekend and then knock things off next week. we won't be too terribly behind...

enough of that. on to more interesting things... so, ricardo. listen to these exchanges, faithful readers, and then tell me he's not interested in banging me. 

the past weds in jiu-jitsu:

- i'm stretching with catherine, and we are very close with her leg up, blah blah, it's a compromising position for this kind of complicated stretch. so i'm kind of like 'is this it? do you feel it?' and ricardo starts giggling (he was GIGGGLING! like me! omfggg) and he looks at me and says 'you know you know what to do.' and i was like, 'excuse me?' (because, seriously, WHAT?!) and he repeats himself while staring into my eyes 'i know you know what to do.' okayyyy so he's maybe flirting with me..? read on.

- then i'm stretching and catherine is on top of me and i notice she keeps looking over to her side. so finally i'm like 'what?' and she's like 'sorry i'm so distracted because ricardo is staring at you.' so i turn my head and start talking to him. then catherine asks him where he lives and he says a few blocks from here (the gym where we jiujitsu) and i say 'oh yeah me too' then he says 'so we're neighbors' and i say 'yeah' then he says 'you should come over sometime' so i'm like 'yeah' then he's like 'oh i guess that would be sexual harassment' and i'm like 'no it's only sexual harassment if...' and he's like 'you know if a teacher and student...' and there's a beat. he walks away.

- okay, so things are heating up, but here's the kicker. nick and i are sparring and joking around and nick goes 'hey ricardo we should do fights like in red belt (david mamet movie that ricardo is in) where someone is, like, disabled. like their arm is tied behind their back or they can't use their legs or something.' then ricardo says (while staring into my eyes again ugh why so sexy?) 'yeah like i could blindfold meredith.' (OHMYGODAMAZING) and so i say 'uh that would be an exercise in trust.' then he says ' and i could tie you up to this fence' and i reply 'this is turning into something else.' beat. beat. he walks away. nick says 'oh my god he loves you.'

soooo then he wants the details for the party on saturday. i give him my address and phone number... so like he could call me or drop by whenevs. we are, after all, neighbors. i'm tempted to email him and tell him to bring mamet to the party. mostly as an excuse to email him but also cause i really wanna hang with mamet. bahhh okay i'll do it. now. while i'm feeling impulsive. what else to say before i sign off to write the sexiest man ever. um not much else. 

recap (in case you want to know what is happening in my life but the length of this post and/or the constant reference to a hot man intimidates you): showcase is rapidly approaching, and i feel way behind. ricardo wants me, and i want him. man, what else is there?

PS you can check out this dude i keep referencing like a creeper here: ricardowilke.com

lots lots lots.

okay i have to write another intensely girlie entry about my hot jiu-jitsu teacher. i will write the whole thing tomorrow. i'm beatttt. and all his signals make my head hurt.

quick recap: ricardo is sexxxy. acting is good. red tape is bad. things keep moving.

i'm hoping for big things. 

sorry sorry sorry.

i'm anotherLAactress on spring break. nothing too report (acting wise). lots to report (life wise). 

gambled with rapper TI in vegas and was just shopping with actress Ali Larter in target. ho hum, i'm so famous.

miss you, courtney!

excited excitement.

COURTNEY GETS IN TODAY!!!

edit: now that i got that excitement out of my system, i'll write a bit more about mamet's last class with us. oh and before i forget, he remembered my name. oh yes, i'm in his next movie (what was that called again, nick?) for sure. he had us learn different speeches both classes (like the declaration of independence and the gettysburg address for example) so that we can see how the words can be anything but still be engaging if the actors are saying the words with an objective. i thought i'd hate this exercise, but i was engaged. and there was really good work happening onstage. yeah. now i'll stop putting my own spin on things and take down more of his wise words for all my actors out there. non-actors: jump ahead to my awesome conversation with dave's wife, rebecca pidgeon, and other fluffy stuff. 

from the desk of d. mamet as told my m. o'leary:

- do you ever get the feeling that people are judging you when you go up onstage? get used to it or move on to another profession. it's like someone wanting to be a firefighter who can't stand smoke.

- "it's tough." "i know, but now it's time."

- text is the given circumstance of the play.

- "you're given that your mother died, it's raining, and you're in a submarine." haha i just liked his given examples. so random!

- don't pick up any emotions, etc.

- you never have to touch the text. 

- don't pick it up unless you want to carry it.

- NEVER prepare.

- you can choose a different verb in the action than to get (ie to obtain, to beg, to demand, etc)

- "um did you ever get jilted? yeah isn't that a great feeling?"

- drama is about 2 people wanting something from the other person that they aren't willing to give up easily.

- we don't wanna know about your ideas. your ideas are bullshit. we wanna see real human interaction.

- the work is in the thinking, in the figuring out.

- choose a complete-able action that you want to do. guess what? you're gonna have to do it.

- the text makes no difference. if you invest in the text, you can't invest in the scene.

- first thing mamet every heard about playwrighting backstage in a performance of the fantasticks, "if only they would just say the words."

- it's the playwright's job to be interesting. it's your job to be active.

- don't talk in actor speak. other professionals don't use bullshit jargon. use real words.

- what is the truth?

- you've gotta have pride.

- you paid for it. you earned it.

- it's habits.

- what happens if i don't?

- "i want to revolutionize fucking everything."

- yes, it hurts. the trick is not minding the hurt.

- if it's not fun, it's not acting.

- if there's something you really need, it won't matter what you're feeling when you begin. 

- 3 things every action needs: 1.) capable of being performed, 2.) something like the author intended, 3.) fun.

- when picking an action, don't pick something the scene already gives you. you don't need to do it if it's already done (ie if he's already open with you, don't choose 'let me in on a secret' etc). that work is done so you won't need to complete your action.

i couldn't write enough. mamet is truly the king on this stuff. he's such a great teacher. moving on to the gossip... i got this really cute email from kristen (johnston) about how she is sorry she can't hang out with me in LA but she's shooting the Ab Fab pilot really quick and then heading back to NYC for rehearsals for the 3rd year show she's directing (jealous? yeah me too). she also emailed me a nice pic of her on set of ab fab. i felt loved and lucky she took the time to write me while in town. esp when she has a ton going on. i then bumped into rebecca pidgeon and we had this conversation:

rebecca: "meredith, right?"

me: "yes." 

"i loved watching you work today."

"oh, thank you."

"i'm rebecca, dave's wife."

"nice to meet you."

blah blah we kept making small talk about how great mamet is etc etc. then we get on the subject of ab fab.

"do you want to see this picture that kristen johnston sent me from the set of ab fab?"

"yes. that's great. we were just there watching the pilot last night because dave's daughter is in it."

"i heard that."

blah blah we talked more about the show and stuff.

anyway, it was really cool to have a convo with her without feeling crazed. we were also driving up to class that morning and saw mamet in the parking garage so we all started waving and he waved back. it was so funny and nice. oh! and i had a very nice conversation with ricardo. he was wearing all of his clothes (so it could have been better), but it was funny. i can't wait to train with him (not-so) privately. with julie. 

spring break 09, here we go. 

acting schmacting.

we had the best audition technique class with acting teacher/coach bob krakower today. he was so specific about the things that attract producers, directors, and CDs when they watch actors audition for things. he was pinpointing things and moments where a director may not know what is off but just know that something is off. it was also cool to see that we can be very very physically specific WITHOUT sacrificing freedom of impulses. i think that atlantic fails at conveying that. i think they are so caught up in getting us to be "messy" in order to be free, that we don't cover the idea that we can find more freedom in specificity - in the structure or form. all thoughts thoughts thoughts.

main points he hit that i loved:

- EVERYTHING should be in service of your RELATIONSHIP with the other person. not just the other person in general. that was huge for me. yeah.

- what is going to set you apart from the others reading is your BEHAVIOR. 

- identify where you are and pretend you are in that environment. set up where you're coming from and look at those points of reference. the audience will watch what is moving.

- move in order to get want you want/move to set up your relationship. it won't look too big. most of the time, all it takes is a shoulder move or shift of focus.

- pick up the pace. if the conversation would take 65 secs IRL, then make it 65 secs in the audition. if it's banter, then banter! we know what this looks like. we know what these scenes look like. don't make them something else.

- figuring out what the moment means LITERALLY does not mean you know how to act it or you're even thinking about how to act it. you need to know what you are literally doing in every moment.

- make choices.

- set up the structure so you can have freedom of impulses. auditions are awesome when there is change. it is visually engaging.

- a video captures 150 pictures in 5 secs. you don't need to stare or go slowly. they have 150 images of you looking straight ahead at your reader. make a change. pick it up.

- don't make moments a certain emotional thing. what is it literally about? stick to that. it won't fail you (probably).

he was full of great points and took us through a couple of audition pieces this week and last week that were so so so helpful. i think he lives in LA but does a couple workshops in NYC. he is worth checking out. for real. if you have any trouble nailing an audition or if you feel dissatisfied with auditioning, i think he can help. bob krakower. 

good night, everyone. OH! and jiujitsu was AWESOME. julie and i talked to ricardo (so sexxxy) and asked him about taking lessons with him after the program is finished. he cut us a great deal. god, i think i'm in love.

*P.S. COURTNEY AND PATRICK, SEE YOU THIS WEEKEND!!!!!

true blood, true love.

i just got the BEST assignment i think i've ever gotten. we get to choose any character from film (OR TV) and then do 3-5 scenes from the movie (OR SERIES). so OBVS i'm going to fulfill my ultimate fantasy of being on true blood (you can watch eps here: www.watchtrueblood.net) and portray sookie. bahhh i've already started thinking about it. now the hard part? choosing which scenes i want to act from the show. this is so awesome! 

thank you, maggie kiley. 

deadlines.

i planned out the next couple of weeks, and then i got really overwhelmed and frustrated because i think i plan too much. i like making to-do lists and planning for tomorrow. i'm over it! i'm over it if it prevents me from doing. it's fine if it's just to make sure i'm on the right track. i'm a bit of a space case, so sometimes i need to put reminders around for me to actually get the jobs done. 

everything is good here. now that i have a minute, i wanted to write about what an amazing time i had with david mamet on friday. he is such an awesome guy with some pretty brilliant ideas. we get him wrong a lot, i think. here are some of my favorite quotes and ideas he shared. read them with an open mind and heart. he might surprise you.

- he talked a lot about fear. he told the story of a drunk searching for his keys underneath the streetlight and a cop comes over to ask him what he is doing. the drunk replies that he is looking for his keys that he lost in the alley. the cop asks why he's looking over here if he lost the keys in the alley. the drunk replies, 'because this is where the light is.' as artists, sometimes we pick the easiest thing, the thing in the light when we need to go looking in the alley - in the unknown. i love this story, and i think i will think of it often.

- jump in.

- what do you need? the script, the actor, you need resolve, you need to eradicate bad or useless habits. that's it. no need to ACT it. 

- stand up, stand still, speak up.

- a great script doesn't need your help, a bad script can't be helped. don't worry about it, it's just noise.

- look at people doing jiujitsu. it's about conservation of energy, it's not about what you put in, but sometimes about what you leave out and going where your partner is. sometimes it's just riffing. 

- the only reason to move is to get what you want.

- analysis: what is the character doing? what's my objective? and what is it like to me? that's it. it's simple. it takes 15 seconds.

- make a simple choice, then go and play the scene.

- hit your mark, look the other guy in the eye, and tell the truth. nothing else to it.

- then how do we know things about the character? we are told them. you don't act your costume, so don't act the character.

- practice. there's a magic 10,000 hours of working at something. you get better like the beatles or other greats. same for acting - practice.

- all acting is a study of lines of power, all acting should be done on the diagonal.

- "you might be able to kill me, but you can't scare me."

- don't wait around for some hollywood asshole to give you a chance, make your own work. "you end up begging someone you wouldn't have a cup of coffee with to play the 3rd junkie."

- we do all the physical and voice training to free your mind. you don't look at anything and think it's impossible.

- don't do it if you don't like it. period.

- jump in and play the scene. a surgeon doesn't stay up all night remembering what surgery is, actors shouldn't either. play truthfully in the imaginary circumstances.

- it's not about playing the doctor, it's about playing the scene, playing the objective.

- we gotta look in the alley to have fun.

- the words can be anything. that's why we love chris walken. 

he also gave us keychains. and i was the summary. he also (may) remember my name this coming friday. fingers crossed. spring break is so soon! i'm seeing patrick and courtney so soon! they can see my new LA life. i hope it is fun. then i get (part of) my family. they get to see my new LA life. i hope they have a good time. i'm planning a couple little things but i think we'll see what happens. i'm over my to-do lists. xo

"JUMP IN." - david mamet. 

i <3 life.

not much else to say but this - i'm loving my life.

i was driving home last night, and there was all this annoying club traffic near my house because i live in a hotspot and i was like 'bah these stupid cars' and then i started laughing because it wasn't really annoying. i was having a great time watching the cars and watching the drunk girls in their skanky clothes and seeing the lights. i don't know, i'm just really really happy. i feel good here. i'm feeling healthy, successful... bahhh this is not the point of my blog. 

acting is going well. i am putting up good work in class. yesterday we worked with mamet (!!!) and he is AWESOME. i think he is grossly misrepresented in the atlantic. teachers try to quote him and it ends up being a mess. he is so clear and so honest. he also is very into brazilian jiu jitsu (who isn't?) so i think i'm gonna continue to train in it after the program is over. it's a little expensive but not that bad. plus clark gregg also trains in it. and a bunch of other working actors. okay, yeah, note to self: will continue to train in jiujitsu. will also continue to look for a job, keep writing scripts that possibly no one will ever read, keep up with nyc and la relationships, try to call people more often, and eat better, exercise much more. this is my life! i'm here and loving it. 

every time i stop to see if i'm ahead, the rest of the runners pass me. 

la la la land.

i'm in week 6 here in la la, and things are going pretty smoothly. butttt i've caught some sort of stomach bug. gross. i feel fine... until i'm puking. hopefully all will be okay tomorrow, and i will keep food down without feeling excessively nauseous. fingers crossed. oh, and i have cockroaches (!!!) so my building wants to do some intense spray in my apartment. i don't feel up for emptying all of my cabinets and putting my stuff into the middle of the apartment and covering it with a sheet. call me crazy, but the fumes can't be good for the gut either.

aside from the vomit and pests, life is good! the weather can't be beat, and i'm still loving the program. monday is even my least favorite of the 3 days of classes. i guess wednesday beats friday. but not by much. anyway, i'm gonna try to get things in my life taken care of tomorrow so i'm hoping for a puke-free day. i have lots of guests soon! james tison is visiting his family this week in bakersfield, so i get to see him for a night. then spring break, courtney fitzzz is visiting me for the week. i'll probs see patrick in that time too. then my family is visiting for a few days. before you know it, i'll be flying to the city for graduation and i'll get to see everyone! oh, shoot - i gotta work out the grad stuff. i don't have much else to say about acting or la la. that's all from this bulimarexic :) good night!