- agents: agents are a funny thing. i think i need to be more serious about pursuing that manager who liked me. i think at this stage in my career i need a manager. i like my agency... i haven't signed on the bottom line with them, though. the jury is still out. i was talking to ann maney and she said that "you're really good, and you need a team who will rep for you. take your time." so i'm gonna finally figure out the file conversion thing on the reel scene and get it to artists independent. whew.
- showcase: i'm in another showcase! we got the casting today, and i didn't get the one act i brought in and wanted to do, but i think it will still be a great night. plus, mamet came to the last one, and i love love love him. my director is smart and julie is doing it too so it should be fun. and i have all that promotion stuff done from the last one which will make promoting this one that much easier.
- boys: my dad doesn't want me to update on this topic anymore, but i will say this much: boys are strange. i'm not crazily dating like i was a couple months ago, but i'm still casually seeing some people, and it is still the most confusing and fascinating dance. who are we?? why are men and women they way we are? what do we want? why do we pretend to want one thing but we actually want something completely different?! i think attempting to answer these questions keeps a lot of creatives creating. i know i write about it all. the. freaking. time.
- writing: i love it! i love going into panera and setting out my laptop and typing away with purpose. i'm getting a little overwhelmed because i have 3 screenplays that i am working on, and i know this is probably an amateur's mistake, but i can't stop the ideas. i'm trying to focus on the one script and i want it to be finished by the time katie comes to visit me. i've turned my wall into the visual representation of my movie - with notecards with each event written on them telling the story. i need visuals. i need reminders. i need something to show for it all.
- career: the real deal, ladies and gents. i auditioned for 'breaking bad' the other day! it was very exciting. and it was for a guest spot with a bunch of scenes/lines/a name. i didn't get it, but it was a very positive experience, and i was told by a inside source that they love me over there and have been dying to use me. i guess they came to the showcase and the casting associate has my headshot on his wall. good news, indeed. i haven't done much else, but i haven't exactly signed on with my agents... oh man. i think i'm gonna hold out until after the showcase i just signed on for. others might be interested and i haven't been blown over by the work they're doing. hmm.
- odd jobs: i was interviewing for this cool nanny position but then they suddenly wanted me in the mornings too and they live across town so i'd need to double commute and suddenly i'm spending half my day in the car and my whole day being a nanny. i want a part time gig that can help with my bills but also leave the door open for me to be an actor/writer/producer (my, i'm acquiring slashes out in LA...). i didn't see it doing that for me. but the good news is that the family loved me so they will call on me for help in the future. i'm applying daily for other gigs, but not much else is happening. it's trying, frustrating, and i'm trying not to let it get me down. i'm searching for something specific that will add to my life. gahhh i just want to act.
- life in general: is great! it's (hopefully) becoming fall here, and so there is a very slight chill in the air. i can't wait to wear sweaters and jeans and boots. i have the best coach boots from my momma for my last birthday. this birthday my parents are buying me my DREAM TV! i'm so unbelievably excited for this. i'm becoming a bit of a gym bunny lately. i have discovered the world of spinning, and i can't get enough. i've never been much of a runner, so i've always hoped for a great cardio alternative. i've tried swimming and the elliptical, but nothing got me trim and happy quite like running. but i don't like running much. then i found spinning. wow. i love it. i'm even gonna go to a day of spinning in november. i want to do it every day. it's like i'm addicted to spinning. i think everyone should try a class. 24 hour fitness has great ones - just be sure to sign up or you'll miss out. i learned that the hard way.
- future goals: i guess my main goals are to finish my screenplays, get in better shape, and book an acting job. i need a job and new headshots and need to talk to that manager and a bunch of other garbage, but i'm trying to stay focused. i'm also trying to remember that i'm young and this is a process. it's funny. i was in yoga yesterday and the instructor was this extremely calming pregnant woman. i thought it would be an easy class, but she pushed us. for some reason, yoga teachers are always interested in me. they always make a lot of eye contact with me... it's actually kind of weird. anyway, i felt a connection with this teacher as well. and i actually really did well in the class (i'm a little sore now!). then at the end of the class when we're laying in our final pose, she tells us to stay still and breathe. quiet your minds blah blah blah. usually this is the part i'm good at, but i was so in my head and not present. i lifted my hand to scratch (since when do i fidget in savasana?!!) and suddenly felt a hand on my thigh. it was the instructor. she just kept it there. like the biggest show of comfort. i could've cried. i've never been touched at a 24 hour fitness class (in fact i think it's against policy) but there she was, her hand on my leg, just saying 'i'm here.' i don't know if she knew how much that helped me quiet my mind and stay present. we are too hard on ourselves. i'm expecting to be a working actor already. my friends are beating themselves up too. it will happen if we are open. we need to breathe, stay still, and enjoy the moment. this is it. and i'm loving it.
hope you're all well! i'll update waaaay more frequently. promise.
X
1 comment:
Rue....made me tear up...i love you, babe...and it's an amazing gift you have been given and it's awesome that you have so much support as you continue to create more beauty with your gift. xoxo
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